Before I start this blog post I wanted to have a quick update about what’s going on. My last post (ironically also my first official blog post ever haha) got some nice reviews from some very lovely people. I didn’t really expect to have anyone actually read through all of it and give me feedback, so I’m really happy that they enjoyed what I had to share. So to those who read that story, thank you! I’m glad you had fun reading it and for giving me feedback about it. I loved hearing what you had to say 🙂
For now, I’ll put that little speech I made aside and we’ll talk about today’s topic!
Does friendship last and how can we maintain them?
This topic for me is pretty touchy and I might go in all different directions with it, but over the years I’ve found that keeping a good friend can be pretty tough. As we mature through our lives we tend to change, not only do our bodies change but also the way we see others. I”m sure many of you may have a friend, but doesn’t act like one (of course kudos to you if you still have a good friend to rely on, you guys must be inseparable and I can respect that:D). Nowadays, and especially in high school, It’s hard to find good friends that can help support and accept who you are. However when we find that one good friend, it’s almost like you don’t want to let go.
Nowadays, and especially in high school, It’s hard to find good friends that can help support and accept who you are. However when we find that one good friend, it’s almost impossible to let go of them once their wonderful presence has entered our lives. It’s such a great feeling, it’s undeniable!
So friendships usually start the moment we’re born, sounds weird right? So maybe not the exact moment we’re born, but when we’re young we become attached to certain things. We become developed into wanting to have the attention from another, we enjoy having company around us. Maybe it’s because we feel safer, more comfortable or just plain happier around others.
As a kid, we are much more invested in finding the perfect best friend than doing our chores or homework, it’s like a life mission and we have to complete it. Also as kids, we are so much more open about how we feel about others. I’ll let you know that as a kid I was far more confident (or should I say savage :P). So let me tell you story about how I became friends with someone over a fight we had :3
It’s the 3rd day of kindergarten and by then all the students had become comfortable leaving their parents and heading off the school by themselves. My goofy friend that I mentioned in the blog post Thanks Mario! also attended my school, but unfortunately we had separately assigned classrooms. Meaning when recess would arrive, I would wonder around my classroom just trying to keep myself occupied until my parent would pick me up. Today it was raining so all students had to stay inside, but luckily I’ve found many toys and books I enjoyed so it was all good.
I walk over to one of the shelves to play with some foam blocks, but they were missing. I realized that right beside me was a little girl who had already taken them out. So I asked if I could join, she stayed quiet but nodded to signal me it was ok. I sat down and began building some sort of racecar track, then I found some cars next to the girl. We had these super cool Hotwheels toys and one of them were PINK!! It looked super cool to me so I grabbed it from the pile of cars beside the girl and started to “pretend” play with it. I’m going to tell you right now…
She wasn’t too happy about that 😐
She flipped out and tried to pry the car from my hands! I didn’t know how to handle fights back then so the first thing I could think of was to fight back (I wasn’t winning at all though haha). Once my teacher saw we were fighting she immediately came over and snatched the car from both our hands. Because she is one of the best teachers I’ve ever had, the only way to get back the car was to play fairly (not joking like the BEST teacher of all time people :D). As much as we wanted to keep the toy to ourselves, we decided that it was probably our best option to play fairly.
After school when we began to grab our coats from the hallway hooks and head home, that little girl came up to me. She gave her name and offered to be friends, I was shocked and had no idea what just happened. Yet she seemed sincere, so I said “Ok”. After that little fight, a friendship immediately blossomed. Throughout middle school, she and I had become the really great friends! We wrote stories together, ate lunch together and played together. We had sleepovers that involve blasting Hannah Montana music and taking silly photos with her polaroid camera. It was when all these things started happening I could call her a Best Friend!
But… It didn’t last.
At some point, our school was becoming over populated and my city decides it was time to build another school. Certain areas where students would live were marked for being able to change schools with the parent’s consent. So both me and she had gotten the letter and I hated it. We hung out the day after and I vented how stupid the letter was, not only because I’ve grown attached to the school…but also all the friends I had made. I was scared that she would leave and I asked that she stay with me at the school. At first, she agreed that it was stupid, but later on, she and her parents ended up signing the transfer letter.
I was heart broken.
Of course, I grew out how silly I was acting and was happy for her, and we both spent our last 4 years in different middle schools.
So I began hanging out with some old friends, even making new ones who transferred over to my school. I still was able to hang out with her though, she only lived 5 minutes away so things were good. By the time we hit our final year of middle school, there was no more contact, no more sleepovers, the friendship had ended.
The first year of high school began and it was scary. More classes and new students from 5 different other schools had all joined into one big high school. I wondered with some friends from middle school to check out the area, and I saw her again. She was hanging out with her friends, new friends, and I was with my friends, my new friends. She never did notice me, but I can’t say when I saw her it didn’t pain me a bit.
Over the years it was getting worse for myself, not only did me and she stopped talking but my other friends from middle school started seeing other people. I had never felt more alone. Everyone I knew was in school activities, I myself wouldn’t join any because over the years I had become less confident in my abilities (I still am now, but writing has given me a way to be proud of what I do :D). At this point my old friend had changed so much, she wasn’t bubbly or as smiley as I remembered. In fact, shes been through so much in her life.
I stop here and think. Did our friendship last? No..
Will it ever return? Unlikely…
Is it a bad thing?
Not at all.
Let me explain myself, as we grow older we expected the best moments in life to last forever, but that’s just isn’t the case. People change, we change and its completely natural. When I was younger I would say “Your my Best Friend”, I now no longer use that term towards my current friends. A Best Friend I believe is someone who will always be there for you. So my Best Friend is actually my Parents, my sister, and my dog. They will never abandon me in my time of need, but some friends can’t alway be there for you. They may accept you, respect you and care for you…but they can’t always be there when you need them most. That’s completely ok, because you may also not be able to be there for them all the time either.
Let me answer how to maintain a friendship.
I don’t really know :3
But it isn’t impossible to maintain one! Remember some important factors:
- Keep in touch- Try and reach out to them whenever, and not just by texting or snapchat. Try calling (so old school I know :D) and Skyping, writing letters, postcards or sending photos. Sometimes these things can feel more meaningful than sending a “Whats up”text at two in the morning.
- Keep it real- A good friendship relies on trust. Be honest with them, if you’re out partying when your friend thinks you had to see family over the weekend rather then wanting to hang out with him/her, then that’s no good. If you’re just tired or actually sick let them know, and don’t go off doing something else. They will trust that something important came up and hopefully be understanding about it.
- Keep it exciting!- Many people may lose interest because they do the same routine every time they hang out. Try going to a movie, go on a hike in a park or have a fun day out where you both go exploring. People love doing something new, even if you don’t have a lot of cash on hand you can play sports, gather a group of people and go on a scavenger hunt, have a sleepover (yes adults can still have sleepovers) Even plan a surprise day for your friend, It will make them feel very special inside ❤
So I’m not exactly the greatest advice giver in the entire world, but hopefully, some of it may be helpful to you! If my friend ever somehow stumbles upon this blog, let me say this.
You are still so awesome, even if you don’t think it!
As this post comes to an end let me ask, do you have a friend that makes you happy? Anyone who has ever made you feel good inside or has done something so sweet it’s almost a crime? Leave your answers in the comment area and even share some advice that you have learned over the years about how to maintain a friendship. I can’t wait to hear what you all have to say 😀
Talk with you all soon!xoxo